Write a reply to the message "how are you?" or "how are you doing?" for me. The recipient and our relationship are [RECIPIENT AND RELATIONSHIP]. The channel is [CHANNEL]. Their exact message and any relevant conversation context are [MESSAGE AND CONTEXT]. What I genuinely want to share, if anything, is [TRUE UPDATE]. The outcome I want from this exchange is [INTENDED NEXT STEP]. My preferred tone is [TONE]. Use only the facts I provide. Do not invent personal updates, health details, family news, work progress, enthusiasm, commitments, or availability. Ask up to 3 clarifying questions only if the recipient, context, true update, or intended next step is missing. Give me 5 reply options, each 25-70 words, clearly labeled by tone: warm, concise, professional, more personal, and forward-moving. Each option should: - Open with a direct answer that feels proportionate to the relationship and channel.
- Acknowledge the other person or reciprocate the question when appropriate. - Include only the true update I supplied, without oversharing or turning it into a status report. - Include a clear, low-pressure ask, answer, or transition only when my intended next step calls for one. Then add a short note explaining which option is safest for a new or formal relationship and which best advances the stated next step. Avoid salesy phrasing, forced positivity, vague promises such as "let's catch up sometime," and exclamation marks unless the supplied context clearly calls for them. Before answering, check that every personal claim comes from my input and that the ask is specific enough for the recipient to answer easily. Flag if my requested tone conflicts with the relationship or conversation context.
Fill in
| Placeholder | What to enter | Example |
|---|---|---|
| [RECIPIENT AND RELATIONSHIP] | Name the recipient and explain how well you know them and the relationship context. | Maya Chen, a former coworker I liked but have not spoken with for eight months. |
| [CHANNEL] | State where you are replying, such as text, email, Slack, or LinkedIn. | LinkedIn direct message. |
| [MESSAGE AND CONTEXT] | Paste their message and the relevant earlier conversation. | Maya wrote: “Hi Erin, how are you doing? I saw your product launch post and thought of you.” |
| [TRUE UPDATE] | Write the personal or work update you are comfortable sharing. | I am well and have been busy settling into a new product marketing role; the launch took a lot of work but went smoothly. |
| [INTENDED NEXT STEP] | State what you want to happen after the reply, if anything. | Suggest a 20-minute call next week to hear what she is working on. |
| [TONE] | Describe the tone you want, such as warm but brief or professional and direct. | Warm, genuine, and not overly familiar. |
How to use
- Paste the exact message and enough prior context to show why the person reached out.
- Decide what you are actually willing to share before asking AI to write it; do not let a polished draft create a false update.
- Choose an option whose level of warmth fits the relationship, then check that any request has a simple next action.
- Follow up with: "Make option 4 ten words shorter and replace the call request with a question about her current work."
Variations
Professional email reply
Use when a colleague, client, or hiring contact asks informally how you are.
Draft three email replies to [RECIPIENT], who is [RELATIONSHIP]. Their message is [MESSAGE]. My truthful update is [UPDATE], and I need to address [WORK TOPIC OR ASK]. Write 45-80 words each: one warm-professional, one concise, and one more relationship-building. Include a direct answer, a brief reciprocal acknowledgment, and a specific next step if needed. Do not invent availability, project status, or personal details. Check that the message does not bury the work request.
Text message reply
Use when the reply should feel natural and brief on text.
Write six natural text-message replies to [PERSON], a [RELATIONSHIP]. They wrote: [MESSAGE]. I can honestly say [TRUE UPDATE]. I want the conversation to [GOAL], and the tone should be [TONE]. Keep each under 35 words. Vary warmth and directness, but do not add fake enthusiasm, life updates, or plans. Include a version with no follow-up question and a version that asks one easy, genuine question.
Reconnect message
Use when responding after a long gap in contact.
Help me reply after [TIME GAP] to [PERSON], who is [RELATIONSHIP]. Their latest message is [MESSAGE]. The truthful reason for the delay, if I want to mention it, is [REASON]. I want to [NEXT STEP]. Draft four replies of 50-90 words that acknowledge the gap without over-apologizing, answer their question, and make a specific low-pressure next move. Do not fabricate excuses, availability, or closeness. Flag any wording that sounds defensive or transactional.
Tips
- Match the detail level to the relationship: a recruiter or client usually needs a short professional update, while a close friend may welcome a more personal answer.
- If you want something from the exchange, put the specific request in the last sentence so the recipient can answer it without guessing.
- Do not answer “how are you?” with a long progress report; one true detail plus a reciprocal question is usually enough.
- For a delayed reply, acknowledge the delay once and move forward; detailed explanations often shift the focus away from the relationship.
FAQ
Do I have to ask “how are you?” back?
No. It is usually appropriate in a personal or relationship-building exchange, but a direct work reply can move to the needed topic after a brief answer.
How much personal detail should I include?
Share only what you would be comfortable seeing forwarded or repeated. A simple truthful update is more natural than a detailed explanation.
Can AI make the reply sound less awkward?
Yes, especially when you provide the exact relationship and intended next step. Keep your own wording for facts and commitments so the message remains authentic.