Write a condolence message to [RECIPIENT] after the death of [PERSON WHO DIED]. My relationship to the recipient and the person who died is: [RELATIONSHIP]. The facts or memory I can honestly mention are: [MEMORY OR CONTEXT]. The message will be sent by [FORMAT], and I want the tone to be [TONE]. My specific, realistic offer or requested next step is: [OFFER OR NEXT STEP]. Write one primary message of 70–120 words, followed by a shorter 25–40 word version if the format is text or chat. Begin with a direct acknowledgment of the death and name the person who died. Include one concrete, truthful memory or quality only if I supplied one. Make the support offer specific and low-pressure, such as dropping off dinner, covering a shift, handling a practical errand, or simply being available. If I have no practical offer, close with “no need to reply” or an equivalent that does not create a burden. Avoid euphemisms such as “passed away” unless I requested them, religious assurances unless I explicitly supplied the recipient’s beliefs, statements about knowing how they feel, explanations for the death, advice about grief, or phrases that redirect attention to me. Do not invent a relationship, memory, belief, or shared experience. Before answering, check that the message does not imply an obligation to respond, meet, forgive, or accept help. Also check that every personal detail comes from my input and that the wording fits the chosen format. Ask up to 3 clarifying questions only if a required input is missing.
Fill in
| Placeholder | What to enter | Example |
|---|---|---|
| [RECIPIENT] | Enter the recipient’s name and, if useful, their preferred form of address. | Maya |
| [PERSON WHO DIED] | Enter the deceased person’s name and any wording the family prefers. | her father, Daniel Ortiz |
| [RELATIONSHIP] | Describe how you know the recipient and the person who died. | Maya is my colleague; I met Daniel twice at team gatherings |
| [MEMORY OR CONTEXT] | Provide one truthful shared memory, quality, or relevant circumstance, or say none. | He made a point of asking thoughtful questions about Maya’s work and seemed proud of her |
| [FORMAT] | State whether this is a text, card, email, workplace message, or funeral note. | a text message |
| [TONE] | Describe the desired tone, such as warm and simple, formal, or close and personal. | warm, restrained, and personal |
| [OFFER OR NEXT STEP] | State a genuine offer of help or a low-pressure closing you can stand behind. | I can cover her client meeting on Thursday, and she does not need to reply |
How to use
- Choose the format before pasting the prompt; a card, text, and workplace email need different lengths.
- Use only a memory you are certain is accurate and appropriate to share with the recipient.
- Make an offer only if you can carry it out, including its timing and practical details.
- Follow up with: “Make this 35 words for a sympathy card while preserving the direct acknowledgment and no-pressure close.”
Variations
Workplace condolence
Use this for a colleague, client, or employee after a death.
Write a professional condolence email to [RECIPIENT] about the death of [PERSON WHO DIED]. Our working relationship is [WORK RELATIONSHIP]. The workplace support I can offer is [PRACTICAL SUPPORT]. Keep it to 60–90 words, acknowledge the death directly, and make the offer optional with no expectation of a reply. Do not discuss bereavement policies, workload, religion, or personal grief unless I provide those details. Check that it is warm without becoming overly intimate.
Funeral card note
Use this when space is limited and the family is receiving many messages.
Write three sympathy card notes for [RECIPIENT OR FAMILY] after [PERSON WHO DIED] died. My connection is [RELATIONSHIP], and this truthful detail may be included: [MEMORY]. Each note must be 25–35 words, differ in formality, name the deceased, and end with a gentle expression of care. Do not include religious language, advice, clichés, or an offer I cannot fulfill. Check that each note fits on a standard card and contains only supplied facts.
Later check-in
Use this several weeks after an initial condolence message.
Write a gentle check-in message to [RECIPIENT], whose [RELATIONSHIP TO DECEASED] [PERSON WHO DIED] died [TIME AGO]. I previously said: [PRIOR MESSAGE SUMMARY]. My genuine offer now is [OFFER]. Write 50–75 words that recognizes grief may continue without asking for an update or response. Avoid “getting back to normal,” timelines, advice, and any claim to know their feelings. Verify the message does not repeat the earlier note word for word.
Tips
- Send the message promptly, but do not force yourself to explain the death or find a perfect phrase; a direct acknowledgment is usually more useful than silence.
- A specific offer works better than “let me know if you need anything,” but only make commitments you can meet without further coordination.
- If you knew the deceased only slightly, focus on the recipient’s loss rather than constructing a detailed tribute from thin information.
- For workplace notes, leave operational questions and leave-policy discussions to a separate conversation unless the recipient asks for them.
FAQ
Is it okay to send a text instead of a card?
Yes, especially when you can reach the person quickly. A card can follow, but a sincere, brief text is appropriate and often helpful.
Should I say “I’m sorry for your loss”?
It is acceptable, but pairing it with the person’s name or one honest detail makes it less generic. Avoid stretching for a personal story you do not have.
What should I say if I do not know the person well?
Acknowledge the death, express care, and avoid personal claims. Keep the note short and do not require a response.