Help me write a condolence message for my coworker, [COWORKER NAME], after the loss of [LOSS INFORMATION]. Our working relationship is [WORK RELATIONSHIP], and the information I know is [CONFIRMED DETAILS]. I will send it by [CHANNEL]. I can truthfully offer this practical support: [SPECIFIC SUPPORT]. The tone should be [TONE]. Write three ready-to-send options: a brief message of 35–55 words, a standard private note of 70–100 words, and a version suitable for a card signed by [GROUP OR TEAM]. Use plain, compassionate language. Acknowledge the loss directly when it is appropriate, say you are thinking of them, and make any offer of help specific and optional. Do not ask for details, require a reply, speculate about grief, offer religious language unless I request it, say “everything happens for a reason,” compare this loss to another loss, or frame work as the priority. For the team version, avoid sharing details beyond what is confirmed and do not volunteer other people’s support. If the relationship is not close, keep the note short rather than manufacturing intimacy. If I mention bereavement leave or work coverage, phrase it as something I can help coordinate, not a demand for a timeline. Output only the three messages plus a one-line note on which channel each suits. Ask up to 3 clarifying questions only if a required input is missing. Before answering, check for unsupported details, promises I cannot make, and phrasing that creates pressure to respond.
Fill in
| Placeholder | What to enter | Example |
|---|---|---|
| [COWORKER NAME] | The coworker’s name as you would address them. | Priya |
| [LOSS INFORMATION] | The loss you know about, stated only as specifically as you are certain is appropriate. | the death of her father |
| [WORK RELATIONSHIP] | Your professional relationship, such as teammate, direct report, or colleague in another department. | a teammate on the customer success team |
| [CONFIRMED DETAILS] | Facts you know are accurate and suitable to mention. | She told our manager that her father died last weekend; no other details were shared |
| [CHANNEL] | The communication channel, such as a private Slack message, email, or card. | a private Slack message |
| [SPECIFIC SUPPORT] | A realistic work-related action you can offer, if any. | I can cover her Wednesday client handoff and document any account updates |
| [TONE] | The level of formality and warmth appropriate to your relationship. | warm, professional, and brief |
| [GROUP OR TEAM] | The people signing the group message, if applicable. | the customer success team |
How to use
- Use only loss details that the coworker or their manager has shared appropriately with you.
- Choose a private channel unless you know a group card or public message has been invited.
- Offer one action you can actually take, then let the person decide whether to accept it.
- Follow up with: “Keep the brief version, but remove the work offer and make it suitable for a card.”
Variations
Manager note
Use this when you manage the grieving employee.
Write a private condolence message from a manager to [EMPLOYEE NAME] after [CONFIRMED LOSS]. I know [DETAILS SAFE TO MENTION]. Include genuine sympathy, confirmation that they should take the time they need, and this concrete work support: [COVERAGE PLAN]. Do not request a return date, paperwork, or status update in the condolence note. Keep it 90–120 words for [CHANNEL]. Use no religious language unless requested. Ask up to 3 clarifying questions only if required information is missing, then check for pressure or unsupported details.
Team card
Use this for a shared card after the person has agreed to receive one.
Write a 35–50 word condolence card message from [TEAM NAME] to [COWORKER NAME] after [LOSS INFORMATION]. We want to communicate [TONE] support without mentioning private circumstances beyond [APPROVED DETAIL]. Do not make promises on behalf of individuals, ask for a response, or include workplace deadlines. Give two card-ready options that each leave room for signatures. Ask up to 3 clarifying questions only if an essential input is missing, and check that the wording is appropriate for a workplace group.
Return-to-work note
Use this when the coworker returns after bereavement leave.
Draft a 50–80 word private welcome-back message to [COWORKER NAME], returning after [TYPE OF LEAVE]. Our relationship is [WORK RELATIONSHIP]. Say we are glad to see them without implying they should be recovered, and offer [SPECIFIC PRACTICAL HELP]. Avoid asking about the loss, saying things are back to normal, or imposing a workload. Make it suitable for [CHANNEL]. Ask up to 3 clarifying questions only if needed, then verify that it has no expectation of reply.
Tips
- A short private message is often kinder than waiting for the perfect words; do not make the person reassure you.
- Offer help you control, such as covering a meeting or documenting updates, rather than “let me know if you need anything.”
- Treat details about the loss as private even if they have circulated at work; mention only what has been clearly shared.
- Do not add a follow-up work request to the condolence message; send it separately later if necessary.
FAQ
Should I say “sorry for your loss” to a coworker?
Yes. It is plain, recognized language and can be followed by a specific, optional offer of support.
Is it appropriate to send a condolence message over Slack?
A private Slack message is appropriate when it is your normal direct channel and you keep it brief. A card or email may be better for a more formal relationship.
What if I did not know the person who died?
You do not need to pretend you did. Acknowledge your coworker’s loss and focus on support for them.